Fear the Beard – Best Cease and Desist Demand Letter Ever Written

You’re likely saying to yourself, “oh this is going to be one of those irrelevant blogs that kind of just takes a pop culture reference and then doesn’t mention anything about eDiscovery or other information management matter.” Well, think again, because something so strange has occurred that begs the question of what arms of reality can electronic litigation not affect?

Cease and desist, mustache-style;

Above The Law recently reported that it had found the be-all, end-all best cease and desist letter ever written, and that it was sent from the American Mustache Institute to the Boston Red Sox’s general counsel Ed Weiss. In what might be the strangest, and most hilarious, patent trolling to date, the American Mustache Institute allegedly told the Red Sox that their players’ facial hair infringed upon its trademark.

This is not a joke. The news provider explained that the complaint was issued because of the organization’s trademark on “Sexually Dynamic Mustached American Lifestyle.” I, for one, have no idea what that means, and definitely have a hard time believing that Jonny Gomes’ massive facial foliage can be closely tied to sexuality.

But, in the wild world of patent and trademark trolling, it seems as though nothing is safe. According to the source, the American Mustache Institute’s letter indicated that officials from the organization believe the Red Sox players infringed on its trademark by “harnessing facial hair toward athletic excellence,” as well as “marketing of beardism.”

This, folks, is just another chapter in a massive and never-ending chronicle of patent and trademark trolling. If you thought you’d seen it all, think again, and try to recall a time when you read a cease and desist letter or other litigation-based communication that included the term “beardism.”

Fun and games until someone gets hurt;

I’m not going to lie, I’m a diehard Red Sox fan. I was born and raised in the great state of Massachusetts, and will always be behind my hairy or clean-shaven baseball team.

On that token, I want to send a public announcement to Ed Weiss, the general counsel for the Red Sox ball club, and tell him that my colleagues and myself are here if you need help overcoming this trying time. I have seen some strange patent cases in my time, but this takes the cake, and if you need me, Ed, my team would be happy to help you ensure the safety and freedom of the team’s facial blooms.

And, most of all, let’s go Red Sox.



Image Resource: https://www.news.nom.co/world-series-gomes-homers-as-red-sox-6862954-news/